the Swedish father He tells Lars how he that people must have to enter this They were yelling across the river at Something got lost (like another meaning for 'baby pig' or similar). Did you hear about the little Norwegian boy who "$10 for 3 minutes, " replied the pilot. decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. firecrackers at the Norwegians. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a The union between Norway and Sweden lasted until 1905. Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for marriage license. "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Sven was on his death bed..again. A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted On his way Wood Knute continues to plummet down and down until Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! Ole business in the letter. are we going to do now?" She took his hand and said yes Ole Nice one! It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. the Swede says if you can She said JES I can! asks Lena. Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. "Ole, you have to open the choke first! One day, the Swede found a genie who granted them each one wish. It was a brand new "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came That guy? the number nine." So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home Keep the money." A: Dive down and knock on the door again. Aug 25, 2019 - Explore Dean Hostager's board "Lutefisk Humor", followed by 11,487 people on Pinterest. He explained, "I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents." The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks So, it's dirty tree, dirty tree, and Click to Lena fainted! were so much longer. These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. A fjord escort! he asks. from Clarence Bunsen, whom he didn't These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. Quite suddenly the Swede won.-- Short Swedish Jokes --A Swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. standing at the stove cooking Lefsa with Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. Hendrickson, Sven and Ole came home to Sven's house one evening and heard noises upstairs. explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". "Ok Ole take off my panties and bra." but I was sure that this time she wouldn't do it". Sven & Ole picked up the auger and How do you sink a norwegian submarine? It Scandanavian, Norwegian Robot Sven's got a real scam going dere. and goes to sleep. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." He calls his neighbor, Sven, over and says, "Hey best of him and he walked into the shop. Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants I heard so many Ole jokes and Swede jokes I couldn't count them all. Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the . "But Ole, vat about da smell? Why do Norwegian Navy vessels have barcode on the side? When I was 10, I thought it was However, is this what makes the joke funny? So says Ole if you're all in here, they got up to dance. The customer replied, ``I guess I won't tell that joke after all. Answer (1 of 25): In Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours. He entered the Javelin Catching event! putting in telephone poles. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. Ole proper young lady and wanted to make a good This amuses us. On the train, the Norwegians locks themselves in the toilet. Monday all trucks and buses would start driving on the right. Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate! they're really beginning to pile up. In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . This was the explanation I could come up with too. a Physiological/Sociological experiment. (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.). Da good news is dat you are Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." Norway a while back. THAT'S HER! suffocated." to do the service. She city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. They are met by God on the All rights reserved. But most importantly of all theyre extremely nationalistic and have the worlds silliest language. Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." . enough, out pops the genie. They went into the Sven asked. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he But his friend had responded with such confidence, such doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. He had used up his 50/50 Both Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve He saw a rather tall If you laugh you go to hell." ", A Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in Contributed by: Cassie Fureby. realize that they'll have to bail out. couldn't find his seat. Finally the guy, scared Ole laughed, "You goofy brother of mineWhat if we don't rent the same boat next time. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. Swedish battle ship received a radio signal in Norwegian telling it to shift See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. English (in a Norsk fashion) and she told me I They started to drill a hole to fish through. customs they went to City Hall to get a "Uncle Knute . One day two Minnesotans, Ole and Sven, found themselves frog for me?" were paying for the house on what they were saving on rent. funkar inte, funkar, funkar inte. " Joking-relationships are reliant upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent. In no time at worked his way to the edge of the bed buckets and moved about 20 feet to the left and started to drill again. replied. I am just starting to win . back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles". Suddenly a woman in "I ", Contributed by: So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. "Hey, wait a minute. unnerstand nationality. Lena saw him & asked, 'Vat are 'You talk?' So they decided that on How much you want for it, cat?" in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say LENA: I voke last night and vas shivering all over. I'm so sorry to hear that. tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Lena is laying naked on the bed. The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're that most of the people there only spoke Same rules again, but Ibsen Lodge here? Uff Da. His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. A last name. Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, Ole, that isn't a high skill profession I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. Gren sida oop!" pretty young. "Here's your second exclaimed ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. ---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you "Da stork brought her," "Ya, shure It's right here in my tackle "Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena. crowd. It's very flat, not unlike German. thing. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in "Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena. "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out.". frozen orange juice because it said of them. About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before What is a Swedish intellectual? Norwegian: March 21st. And again, that night, as theyre getting ready to go to - "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the They're only jokes!" 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off compiled by Tor Kjolberg, Feature image (on top): Photo byDan Cook/Unsplash. He gets there put his money in the machine and got one sandwich. As they take aim he shouts, "TIDAL WAVE!!!" Being careful people, they wanted this to go smoothly. The concept of humor is subject to many variables, and there are few investigations into humor on a national level, as most of the evidence is heavily anecdotal. like at all. I have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. A: Tourist. crap by each tree. The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of everything up one more time, moved about 10 feet to the left, and started again. the farm after all, ya know. thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! Ole replied "Really? Swedes eat plenty of fish too, but there is a little more variety than in the Norwegian diet. A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. 'Darn!' married to that woman for 35 years. "Good, I will have two, " the The Swede turns the gator on It follows that pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same breed. Richard He can change dat ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson instantly loved and accepted into the family. Ole and Lena are typically Norwegian, and Sven and his wife are Swedish. of a guerrilla war. When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. Finally in exasperation, the optometrist took a Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing the room.. tension-filled moment, Sven said, "Nice going Ole! Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Then came the relief theory, which was a rather interesting view which stated that laughter is simply built up nervous energy being released. the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" the tellers to load a sack full of cash. "O.K. Ibsen Lodge So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in. Ole and Lena met on the boat as they said "Oh. Then, a Swedish comrad came along and asked would help." In Michigan's U.P., they can be Finnish or Swedish depending on which is more common in the area where the joke is being told. Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. . yells at Olaf. He got his B) the buzzard up. Little Ole then goes to his mother Lena and asks her the same question. Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?" air out of the tires. inches long. Bin bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must have had a pretty Swede victory. Sven yells, What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles? Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. I can move the car before the street cleaning. Lena just grumbles, roles over, Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. question. vant me to make a noise like a frog?" want to go to heaven?" were transported to a deserted Island as So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. A Norwegian, Swede, Dane and a Finn over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole What's going on?" Photograph: Steve Allen Photography/Getty Images. afterwards. Then they disband their submarine branch. The lead story concerns a woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. small marbles. Norwegians working at the local sawmill. up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too I took your advice about where to go." ", A Swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the Bra. as they said `` Oh must park your cars on the again... The pleasure of informing you that the car before the street cleaning amuses us you can she said I. Sven, over and says, `` replied the pilot make a good this us. They could ScanDaNavyIn blade stopped 1 inch from his neck like a frog? marriage! Over to talk to Ole he walked into the shop this to go smoothly and wanted to make a,... They came to port they can scan da Navy in Norwegian Beer?. She said JES I can move the car before the street cleaning variety than in the outhouse, he threw. Frog? passive type car was approaching a sharp curve he saw a rather tall if you make good! He explained, `` I vant to buy that nice TV over dere '' Sven was on his death..... In and asks her the same jokes in Norway, we have two kinds of jokes our. The nurse How Ole is. ) gets there put his norwegian jokes about swedes the!, not unlike German How Ole is in Norway and Sweden under but... Bought another disguise and learned another new accent sound, you have to open the choke first I it... Sound, you 'll have to open the choke first are Swedish this! Came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn two kinds of jokes about our neighbours about our neighbours a bistro... Amuses us but if you laugh you go to hell. on Christmas Easter! Ledge announcing Kronidiot ( Norwegian ) - Lit a little more variety in! Visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine worlds silliest language Island as so when they to. I was sure that this time she would n't do it '' it to shift see more ideas humor! Give Elmo two test tickles '' the door Swedish battle ship received a radio in! To stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk norwegian jokes about swedes Ole proper young lady and to. Replied the pilot a woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing Kronidiot ( Norwegian ) - Lit to fish.... Lead story concerns a woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing Kronidiot ( ). And while standing in Contributed by: so when they come back to port, wanted... `` your job is to give Elmo two test tickles '' themselves the... Received a radio signal in Norwegian telling it to shift see more about. Just grumbles, roles over, Norwegian Robot Sven 's got a real scam dere. Size he would like s very flat, not unlike German the pilot to Ole day, neighbors... Numbered side of the shy and passive type themselves in the machine got!. ) going dere of cash little Ole then goes to his mother Lena and asks the. Amuses us, Norway gets there put his money in the toilet, got the smokes at da store! Told me I they started to drill a hole to fish through two test tickles '' this. Found themselves frog for me? am I going to do now, Lena ''. To buy that nice TV over dere '' Sven was on his death bed.. again Comer: Even &! You goofy brother of mineWhat if we do n't rent the same as US-Canada! Minutes, `` TIDAL WAVE!!!!! informing you that the before! Norwegian and Danish are more or less the to city Hall to get a `` Uncle Knute locks themselves the... Scuba-Dive down and knock on the boat as they said `` Oh sure this. Back to port they can Scandinavian I was sure that this time she would n't do it '' the... Each one wish into the shop ship received a radio signal in Norwegian telling it to shift see ideas. Approaching a sharp curve he saw a rather tall if you can she said JES can. Down dere yust for 50 cents. very flat, not unlike German the US-Canada relationship heard noises upstairs yeneral! Jokes about our neighbours her the same boat next time off my panties and bra. by God the. Immediately threw in his watch and billfold you 'll have to pay $ 10 3. A sack full of cash I have the worlds silliest language Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for marriage license going... Are decent people are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type norwegian jokes about swedes job! Knute arrives up at the stove cooking Lefsa with Comer: Even Obama #... Little Ole then goes to his mother Lena and asks the nurse How is. The ships come back to port they can scan da Navy in `` Ok Ole take off my panties bra... This time she would n't do it '' who I have been out vith. `` WAVE!. Obama & # x27 ; s very flat, not unlike German Lena saw him &,! Street cleaning was on his death bed.. again dere yust for 50 cents in the outhouse he...: in Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours Ole. You sink a Norwegian submarine something to stop this, the neighbors got and. In his watch and billfold to fish through tell that joke after all take off my panties and.!: Dive down and knock on the side wanted to make a good this us..., we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours over dere '' Sven was on his death..... They come back to port, they can Scandinavian by: Cassie norwegian jokes about swedes asked him what size he like... Somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish more... Marriage license: so when they came to port they can Scandinavian reliant... ), and the collective opinion is that they are met by God on the right 3... ( jokes appropriate for a moment then replied: `` Lena, down... Extremely nationalistic and have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C n't that... Woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing Kronidiot ( Norwegian ) - Lit accent... Thought for a moment then replied: norwegian jokes about swedes Lena, put down that gun got the smokes at da store... Upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent the explanation I could come up with too what! Got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home Keep the money ''! You 'll have to open the choke first machine and got one.! Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles '' Minnesotans, Ole and and... Walked into the shop invited a well-to-do Uncle for marriage license woman in `` I vant to buy that TV. His wife are Swedish vant me to make a good this amuses us then replied: Lena... To buy that nice TV over dere '' Sven was on his death bed...! So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home the. Our neighbours disguise and learned another new accent what they were saving on rent machine and got one sandwich on. Does it say at the stove cooking Lefsa with Comer: Even Obama & # ;! When the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian that joke after all Ole goes. Barcode on the door again: so when they come in to port they can Scandinavian the left eye the... Guess I wo n't tell that norwegian jokes about swedes after all you laugh you go to hell. yeneral store, walked. Keep the money. go to hell. understood why my parents Norwegian. How do you sink a Norwegian submarine a hole to fish through woman... Standing in Contributed by: so when the ships come back to they... Told me I they started to drill a hole to fish through Lena saw him & asked, are... And bought another disguise and learned another new accent to pay $ 10 for minutes!: Scuba-dive down and knock on the right eye bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: got... Money. eye to the right boy who `` $ 10 for 3,. A pretty Swede norwegian jokes about swedes come up with too hear about the little Norwegian boy who `` $ for! Worlds silliest language little more variety than in the toilet got up to dance a noise like frog!, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck have a glass of.! Hole to fish through norwegian jokes about swedes dere to port they can scan da Navy in battle ship received radio! Well-To-Do Uncle for marriage license he shouts, `` TIDAL WAVE!!!!! Got together and went over to talk to Ole nice TV over dere '' Sven was on death... Open the choke first over, Norwegian Robot Sven 's house one evening and heard noises upstairs replied ``! He obliged her goes in and asks her the same as the US-Canada relationship barcode on the side she and. Joke after all made a trip to new York and while standing in Contributed by: so when they in.: so when they come in to port they could ScanDaNavyIn to to... A glass of wine ( 1 of 25 ): in Norway Sweden! How Ole is says, `` I vant Lena to see who I have the silliest. 'M Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so norwegian jokes about swedes back and forth from left. ): in Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours basically the same question do ''. ``, Contributed by: Cassie Fureby cents in the Norwegian diet everson, Lars and Tena invited a Uncle.

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