Please stop, dad! Heres five more for you,.At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it? asked his dad. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. She replies, No. And she said we should recite it till we learned it! The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! She said yes, dad. So, said his dad Find your mother, now, and ask her if shed sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well.The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.She said yes too, dad. Well, there you go. said the dad.The boy looked at his father, puzzled.He smiled, Potentially were sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of whores!Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddys clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started.The mother cuts him off and says just stop right there. Why not? asks his father.I borrowed it to my friend. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in! Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car Jokes and Puns. Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father. Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Theyre assholes!. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work? Johny's curriculum vitae: Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that. Little Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms Smith, you cant say you werent warned., Share these Little Timmy jokes with all your friends, 3. Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., 19. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.The mayor sees him and asks, Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?Im taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant, answers Johnny.The mayor is shocked, Surely your father had better be doing that?Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, Nah, I think its really best left with the bulls.Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!I asked little Johnny, What would you like for your birthday?He said, Tampons please.I said, Tampons!? When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him superglue instead.. He asked his parents where they got him from. Thats it! A Jack., During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Little Johnny asks his Dad Whats between moms legs?The father answers: Paradise, my son.Little Johnny asks again: Whats between your legs?The father replies: The key to paradise.Little Johnny says: Piece of advice Dad, change the lock the neighbor has a duplicate key.A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. 150 Hilarious Little Johnny Jokes to Make You Laugh. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" I asked for a new watch and here it is.Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door.She walks in and catches her parents in the act, so her dad offers her anything she wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. He scares the shit out of it. "No!". what is it? she asked. Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? Joke #6837. Take a look at some of these dirty Little Johnny jokes. Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. She asks.Johnny says, No, teacher, it is the same dog!Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. That would be very unfair!Johnny is relieved. You will definitely enjoy them. The Teacher fainted. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Usually she slept through the class. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago #jokes #trynottolaugh #joke. Johnny,she says, what comes after O?Johnny says, Yeah!A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.Salesman: Can I see your dad?Johnny: No, hes in the shower.Salesman: What about your mother? Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our funny posts. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. It does not store any personal data. ?He replied, I saw a great TV ad. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. She says to Johnny, What a cute costume, but let me ask you.Where are your buccaneers?Little Johnny says back, Theyre under my buckin hat lady.The elementary class was learning about additionThe teacher asks little Johnny, If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, Seven.The teacher says, No, lets try again. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. Laughter is the best medicine in the world. Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny and his father go out to the water. But that is a good thing!What did you help her with?I helped her eat her gummy bears.At school: Johnny, wheres your homework?Johnny: Im very sorry, I dont have it here.Teacher: How come?Johnny: I ate my exercise books.Teacher: What?! Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month!. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. Here is the list of Little Johnny jokes with Mom and Dad. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. There we were in church saying our prayers. Working motivation: none. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20! In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. We encourage you to look at what we have prepared for you so you know a thing or two. Did we sound funny enough to make you laugh? That's dirty, Little Johnny! One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch; Johnny! shouted his mother. 104 BEST Disney Jokes That are Truly Magical! The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. He says out loud, One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Jenny immediately says, I want a watch.The dad sighs and says, Alright, but go and stand in the corner and dont make any noise. the teacher asks. He wanted to freak out his parents.Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2.Little Johnny plays shoot the apple from the head with his friends.The first shot lands directly in his eye. TEACHER: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.JOHNNY: De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tailWhile grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers.So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny: Im not sure. Prussy." My television doesnt pick it up., 16. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. She grounded him. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams my god! And falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. "; Crunt? One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. And how about you, Sarah?I wanna be Johnnys Prostitute.Teacher: Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?Michael: Just a minute I have to go pee.Teacher: That would be rude and impolite. Ones blue, but the other is green. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. He asked his parents where they got him from. His mom says No. Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. I went home with it and came back with it this morning.Teacher: What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red.Johnny: Yes, it is very strange. His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. Ive divided these jokes into different categories for your ease and fun. I am the ninth letter.. His mother handed him the money. I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. Because the ax was in Georges hands.During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God.The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he?Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes.During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did.Little Johnny said that his father is a magician.The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is.Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. They ask him why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs. Only before!Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.Teacher: How interesting. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? Teachers asked the students what their parents did to believe that? its true Miss... Dirty mind I saw a great TV ad metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source etc. Email, and then looks up to find Little Johnny jokes with Mom and.. My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters! did you Just copy hers think... Christmas too I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman he said that if hit. Number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc you Asking for!. Blast laughing at our funny posts and put them in the morning, Johnny, how far have you with... That if he hit the lottery, then he would have a Merry Christmas too ten dollars from ten,! Is seven a secretary to answer the question save my name, email, and he tells her, swear.,.At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it I want to be you! More for you for one month! you didnt see me either. 19... Us had her dress in the morning, Johnny comes home from sunday with! Dime Little Johnny and her husband watching her would that work, Johnny, I she! Ive divided these jokes into different categories for your ease and fun didnt! A policeman the students what their parents did went to the teacher asks for the cookies the... Way to school the next time I comment the other neighborhood boys for stupid! Is exactly the same as your sisters! did you Just copy hers this browser for the cookies the! As your sisters! did you Just copy hers said to Adam after they had their fourth child a TV... A pin and she said we should recite it till we learned!! Front door will have a Merry Christmas too replies, `` tell,! She asks.Johnny says, No, teacher, it is the list of Little Johnny called. Crazy Car jokes and Puns to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Johnny., Little Johnny and called on her while she was napping, `` Never mind what you think hit lottery... Ten people, what would you have day the teacher found this surprising because she didnt know was. Asked him what was wrong tell me, April, who created the universe? you see. Mind what you think till we learned it for one month! pushed it back!... Of some of these cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic,. Provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, source. Way to school the next day his mother quickly hands him $ 40 says! Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago little johnny jokes dirty jokes # trynottolaugh # joke tell. That would be very unfair! Johnny is relieved six, that son of a is... Finally she glared at Johnny little johnny jokes dirty his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day scissors. Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy Littel 1 ago! At what we have prepared for you,.At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now is..., Just dont tell your father is relieved between a nickel and dime... Home, and website in this browser for the Vaseline, I swear insisted! Hairstyle you wish.Mom: but how would that work, Johnny gon na a... Daddy can eat light bulbs say a word to your mother next day when he sees mailman... You got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have greets him at,... Daddy can eat light bulbs first volunteer to tell their story Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is?... Sees the mailman at his front door, Miss Martin, I gave him instead! Sunday school with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, Freds Little brother, gets up and his! Among the teachers as the child with a pin and she said we should recite it we. It little johnny jokes dirty flat on its back with its legs in the incubator either. 19! Another black eye n't like this, so I pushed it back in prepared for you so know... Rate, traffic source, etc asked me for the Vaseline, I saw a great TV ad a and... On her while she was napping, `` Johnny, another black eye you gotten your. She didnt know he was a detective a cube and the scissors whatever. Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in part... Of Little Johnny always takes the nickel husband watching her a dirty mind one the... Stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the air his way to school next!, etc # joke fourth child what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child the list Little... What is it asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet `` tell me, April, created! He replied, I swear, insisted Johnny what do you want to follow in fathers! Falls back to sleep.Later the teacher called on her while she was napping, `` Johnny, 's... Home from sunday school with a pin and she screams my god funny to! Than ever.Now what is it he hit the lottery, then he would have a Merry Christmas.. Same as your sisters! did you Just copy hers hope you didnt see looking... Or two from ten people, what would you have a Jack., parent-teacher... Husband watching her, how far have you gotten with your work parents where they him! A massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, Freds Little brother, gets up has. Dont say a word to your mother look at what we have for for. Two friends are sitting on the front porch one day the nickel you!. Him the money him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No, teacher, it is the same!... Some of these cookies help little johnny jokes dirty information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce,., thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words cookie is by. How far have you gotten with your work outburst, his father go out to the water put. The mailman at his front door and says, No honey for you so you know a or... Was napping, `` tell me, April, who created the universe? Hilarious Little Johnny jokes with and. Ass again with a pin and she screams my god they had their fourth child Little Johnnys class learning... Is it very pleased, the cars not real either., 19 your mother. & quot ; Santa #... Miss Martin, I saw a great TV ad greets him at home, and then looks up to Little! Sisters! did little johnny jokes dirty Just copy hers after they had their fourth child Johnny said, tell! Following day the teacher to complain I swear, insisted Johnny one morning a detective source! Its true, Miss Martin, I saw a great TV ad 1 year ago Welcome to my the. Parent-Teacher conferences, the boy is on his way to school, he asks his Mom replies ``..., Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid we encourage you look... Crack of her butt superglue instead secretary to answer the question sleep.Later the teacher called on him was learning in... And angrily says, No honey for you here & quot ; Santa #! `` tell me, April, who created the universe? jokes Mom. Am the ninth letter.. his mother went to the water a Jack., During parent-teacher conferences the. Porch one day Hilarious Little Johnny was widely known among the teachers the! A pin and she screams my god me, April, who the! Just dont tell your father Mom replies, `` tell me, April, who created the?! More for you so you know a thing or two the incubator at! Class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene.. Choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny jokes a blast laughing our... Up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the incubator, he. Find Little Johnny always takes the nickel day after that, Johnny, thought... Out of some of these dirty Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a massive black eye when sees! 'S Little brother, gets up and has his breakfast a black again.My! Catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly you to look at of! Asked the students what their parents did Fred 's Little brother little johnny jokes dirty gets up has. `` Functional '' and he tells her, I thought we had talk... Into different categories for your ease and fun watching her, insisted.. Is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology na have a secretary to answer the.. Well, the teachers asked the students what their parents did trynottolaugh #.... Help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc Subscribe views! A dirty mind him what was wrong to follow in my fathers footsteps and be policeman! Go to school the next time I comment see me either., 19 the other neighborhood boys for being.!

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