At the same time, youll also feel ashamed or embarrassed that you believed in them in the first place. Smearing is an act of revenge. The first step to successfully do that is to realize what it is that you actually want. They might think they will be upsetting the people that they care about and that it reflects poorly on them. There are many people who you may be compatible with when you are on the dating scene. This is something that is no longer your concern after you walk away from the relationship. Learn more about the tactics narcissists use. As of 2015, 22% of couples divorce within the first five, If your friends are settling down, it can feel lonely. They need this kind of negative feedback from you to provide them with a reason to lash out and target you in return. Can a narcissist handle rejection and no contact? Self-absorbed people are in constant need of validation that they are fabulous people. It is important to note that narcissism is simply a personality trait, but it could be indicative of a personality disorder, in some cases. Additionally, theyre trying to convince themselves that they never needed you. Taking power away from a narcissist is one of the hardest things youll ever have to do in your life. Theres a chance that an empath will fall in love with a narcissist, and it could end badly for the empath. An estimated 9.8 percent of adult males and 4.2 percent of . Thats why you should stop apologizing at all costs. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Narcissistic rage is not a reaction to stress it is a reaction to a perceived slight, insult, criticism, or disagreement-all considered acts of rejection in the mind of a narcissist. They may engage in any or all of these abuse tactics: People with narcissistic personality disorder believe they are entitled to special treatment. Yes, its hard to get to that place. Theres no reason why you should express remorse, as you didnt do anything wrong. The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. Please call back when you calm down. How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 15 of the Best Ways 1. Downplaying or completely denying they wanted to have sex in the first place. Set healthy boundaries that you are comfortable with to keep the distance that you need from the narcissist. It has been insightful and a relief to pin point what I have been married to for 30 years. Accepting this responsibility is painful and gives permission to the narcissist to continue to blame you for how they treat you or try to make you believe that their behavior is a result of their actions, which is not true. In that case, youll be taking power away from a narcissist by slowly walking away whenever you feel like it. There has been research conducted to determine if empathic feelings fade over time, and it indicates that this is possible. Even if theres only a slight chance, he still has something to hold on to. And he wont be able to do anything to stop you. If you are the closest person to the narcissist, you will automatically become the most reliable target. In some cases, a narcissist may threaten an empath to get them to come back to them. Refuse to go to a planned event with him or her. Our vision is to become a supportive community where youll feel that theres someone out there who gets you, supports you in creating and keeping strong bonds between your families and friends. Keep reading to find out more information. We also know that they often act like they dont even consider other people. This could include anything from making you feel bad about yourself to threatening you. However, if you acknowledge their reality and tell them that you accept it, even though it is faulty, you are sending a strong message that you are not going to be manipulated. They're all about winning, controlling, and maintaining their false self-image. If someone tries to convince you that youve done something wrong or that you are a horrible person, dont try to retaliate or defend yourself. This could include anything from making you feel bad about yourself to threatening you. Even though it wont be easy, there are still some things you can do to escape a narcissistic person and leave him in the past. If he says something like this, youll say this. Narcissists think that they can engage you in their reality. They can use it anytime they feel ashamed, embarrassed, or caught off-guard. Thats where consequences come in. Relationships can be difficult, but strategies, such as practicing attentive listening, are available to help you strengthen your relationship. Narcissistic rage is different from other forms of anger in that narcissistic rage is . Takeaway. So, the best thing to do is simply accept that you cant change him. Here are treatments and self-help methods to overcome it. Focus in and the truth will reveal itself. If youre not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they wont be satisfied. It's in conflictwhen even the healthiest among us becomes defensive and self-protectivethat the. You will find honest storytelling and our inspiring people tackle issues that so many of us face but are afraid to talk about. 2. They cant understand why you would ever want to turn your back on the relationship. So, the question is how can you have a discussion with him while still being the one whos in control? This is why its essential to understand the complex paradox of narcissism. Unfortunately, their changes are not altruistic or generous. They are probably feeling desperate. Everyone has a tendency to show some narcissistic traits at times. You simply stop replying and you take the power back into your hands. Below is a list of what happens when you ignore a narcissist. If you want a narcissists behavior to stop, you have to figure out what you are willing to deal with and what you arent. It could take a while for them to overcome this. For example, a narcissist might tell you that you're her boyfriend, but later you discover she has another "boyfriend," and she'll deny she ever lied. As a result, things may get heated in an argument. It may seem like that but its just an illusion that will help him lure you in. Don't Feed Their Ego 4. Once you finally figure out whats going on, it feels almost impossible to escape their clutches. These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Reading Suggestion: What Does a Narcissist Want in a Relationship? He knows what to say to gain his power back and he surely knows when to say it. When you fall for this stage of love bombing, you've crossed a point of no return. This is because a narcissist will take advantage of how caring and authentic an empath is, which could leave the empath getting nothing in return out of the relationship. Remember that a healthy relationship involves mutual respect and trust, which may not be something you get when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Consider how you really feel and if you take others feelings and point of view into account. There's no doubt that conversation is engaging and fun and it's great to talk to new people. When youre dealing with a narcissist, youll often get the feeling that youre going through an emotional roller coaster. According to Cherlyn Chong, a professional life . All rights reserved. Another thing revolving around what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist is that the empath will probably have learned a lot throughout the process. . Shutting down and ignoring their partner for several hours or days. Reading Suggestion: How Do Narcissists Treat old Supply? Theres no reason to hastily go back to a narcissist after you leave them. Using this strategy, they attempt to make things right by giving in to your desires. At the same time, despite pretending like they dont care about other people, they are highly sensitive to any judgments or criticism- to the point where it can be downright debilitating. It is painful and difficult, but in the end, you get your life back. If you keep giving them what they want, they will continue to try to control you so you will meet their needs and wishes. It might seem easier to accept the blame to stop their rampage, but doing so can break your spirit after a while. As I stated earlier, the best way toward taking power away from a narcissist is to simply walk away, without saying a word. I began, making calls; sending texts and emails, and even; going to see; The ghosts of my past that were haunting me. Have an if/when list to be extra prepared, 5. Once you give them this kind of attention, they can hold it over your head. You may choose to. One of the first stages of leaving a narcissist will include you getting away from them. What happens if you walk away from a narcissist? "Boundary" is a four-letter word to a narcissist. Think about your boundaries, all of the propositions you must reject, and all of the things you must say. A narcissistic person needs to be admired over everyone else, so when someone doesnt do this, they will not be pleased with the outcome. But tips, like exploring new hobbies and traditions, can help you enjoy singleness and maintain, Marriage counselors can help you effectively communicate with your partner. None of the things is your fault and you couldnt avoid them even if you had changed yourself completely. Even though you know that you shouldnt allow him to treat you this way, escaping a narcissist is easier said than done. You will need emotional support throughout the process of leaving a narcissist, Jacques said, from making the decision, to preparing yourself to leave, and actually going through with it. Lets have a look at 5 ways how the Narcissist handle rejection. They think others should adapt and even concede to their needs. Why This Still Probably Won't Work: The narcissist might try harder at first to get a reaction from you; in other words, you might have to endure more abuse. Ridiculing you. They will likely find someone else to spend their time with or boss around and let their previous partner go. Keep your needs in the front of your mind to reduce the chance of a narcissist taking advantage of you. When the narcissist crosses your boundaries, you can . You . They use hoovering to try to convince you that youre wrong for rejecting them. Sometimes, you see no way out and you simply accept the fact that you shouldnt even bother walking away as you know this narcissistic person will find a way to lure you back. How to Course Correct without Chastising, What Is a Moral Compass and How to Find Yours, Atelophobia: Overcoming this Fear of Making Mistakes, What Is an Energy Vampire and How to Protect Yourself, 10 Effective Ways to Keep Your Partner Interested. He wants you to get angry because thats when you stop thinking rationally. To find out more about what happens in an empath and narcissist relationship, watch this video: So, what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? At the same time, remind yourself that there will eventually be an end to your suffering. If they are trying to attract new a narcissistic supply, sex may represent a win, as if they accomplished their mission. Don't Accept Responsibility 5. Even when you walk away from a narcissist, youll still feel the consequences of his previous deeds. Pick up your phone and call someone. There might be affiliate links on some of the pages of this site, which means we could earn a small commission of anything you buy. Anxiety or depression. The Narcissist keeps coming back and contacting me, How to end a Relationship with a Narcissist, how does narcissist handle rejection and no contact, what happens when you reject a narcissist, How Do Narcissists End Relationships? This is a tactic a narcissist uses when he feels like hes losing control. A narcissist needs to be praised and adored, so when this is not happening, they will feel ill at ease. The narcissist is the one who made mistakes and you still dont see him apologizing to you. This is the empaths nature, since they tend to worry about their fellow human beings. They shake up your world and put you under their control without you even realizing it. Smearing is an act of revenge. As long as you care about him, he has a chance to control you. Once this occurs, they will likely begin trying to guilt you into feeling bad about yourself and how you treated them. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition that typically involves a grandiose . At some point you realize that you just need to lay it down and walk away for good. Well, thats exactly what a narcissist will try to do. Narcissists invariably react with Narcissistic Rage to Injury. Offer Compassion 9. So what happens if you start to reject and ignore a narcissist? Ultimately, giving them another chance tends to lead to more disappointment. This is part of their personality, and its how they cope with being rejected. Clearly Explained! Acknowledge Your Feelings Bustle Some narcissists will try to damage your reputation after a real or perceived rejection. If an individual is experiencing symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, it may be more imperative that an empath and narcissist breakup. The first thing to remember is to limit your expectations and realize your role in the conversation is to be supportive and recognize what you are dealing with. Thank you for your article! A narcissist has it all planned. Wondering what to say to disarm a narcissist? In this way, sex becomes an alluring game, a way for them to prove their worth and superiority. If you walk away from a narcissist, they may try hard to get you to come back to them. The best way to do this is to have your answers prepared. At times, it can be incredibly obvious, but many narcissists also know how to be sly and subtle. In doing this, they often jump into a new relationship very quickly. After you no longer know how to stand up for yourself, a narcissist sees the opportunity to control you and make you do whatever he wants. This is one of the main reasons why an empath and narcissist shouldnt date each other. When an empath loves a narcissist, the narcissist will end up hurting the empath greatly. If you decide to have a talk with a narcissist, the chances are hell try to convince you that hell change. Let him know the boundaries hes crossed but always make sure to do that in written form. They will think whatever they choose to think about you no matter how much you fight against it. They may be able to find a mate that is better suited for them and treats them fairly and as an equal. So when they make a genuine attempt to improve the relationship with a narcissist, you may start feeling incredibly optimistic. They consider themselves above the rules, and they assume they are entitled to whatever they want. Thats why they often react in such intense ways. What happens when you reject a narcissist? Once they see that they can no longer control you, you become a threat. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Yes, you can, but you have to know how to deal with them. How does a narcissist deal with rejection in the bedroom? You have to understand that you cant change a narcissist. If you want to neutralize a narcissist, you might try saying things like: These statements might get their attention, but its not likely to change their behaviors permanently. Treading Carefully: Getting Back Together After Separation, 3 Ways Separation in Marriage Can Make a Relationship Stronger, 10 Things You Must Know Before Separating From Your Husband, 12 Steps to Rekindle a Marriage After Separation, How to Combat the 5 Glaring Effects of Anxiety After Infidelity, How to Have a Trial Separation in the Same House, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. Its too late to make any changes in their behavior now, as the damage is already done. Seduction can be an act of control and manipulation- this is why so many narcissists feel drawn to chase after potential mates or engage in extramarital affairs. Privacy Policy | About us |Contact us 2023 Think Aloud, How to succeed at taking power away from a narcissist, 2. This could include anything from making you feel bad about yourself to threatening you. The only way a narcissist will realize that they might be in the wrong (or simply let something go) is if you refuse to engage and push back. Theyre still doing everything they can to lure you back into their lives. Will you marry me? An empath needs to be loved and be with someone that is who they claim to be, which is not the case for a narcissist. When a narcissist feels rejected, they feel vulnerable and humiliated. . One of the most common things that will happen when you discard the narcissist first is that they'll try and guilt you into staying. You get the feeling that youll be stuck with them forever, even though their presence in your life doesnt make you happy not even in the slightest. Doing so leads them to become frustrated or angry. Even in those moments when you feel like going back to him, reading whats written on the paper will help you stick to your goal. Say "I'm Sorry You Feel that way." 6. Oh, I dont really care what we do. Their attempt at getting you to defend yourself has failed. The answer is that an empath will begin to notice that they are not being loved and treated the way that they need to be from a narcissist and will, When an empath leaving narcissist situation occurs, it is generally because the empath is unable to take any additional. In that case, you also know when its the right time to leave and never go back. But even if it seems like a reasonable explanation, you must trust me when I tell you its wrong. Youll want to free yourself from his chains but by this point, you probably think its impossible. What if you really need to have a talk with the narcissist? When this attempt fails, they can feel hurt and angry. I dont know why Ive waited so long to ask. They may be able to find a mate that is better suited for them and treats them fairly and as an equal. They may judge people for acting so primitive or impulsive. Narcissistic Rage is the term used to describe this aggression which can include violence. Walk away from a date who doesn't respond . If they dont receive this validation, or someone questions their greatness, they often lash out. They may use their trauma or financial situation to keep you there. 11 Reasons Why And How To Handle It. Need to know how to shut down a narcissist? You try to give them the benefit of the doubt. An empath may think they want to get back together with the narcissist that they ended their relationship with. The narcissist can have extreme attitudes when it comes to sex. 13 Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him, 109 Best Appreciation Messages To Show Gratitude, The Ultimate Love List: 365 Reasons Why I Love You, 11 Effective Exercises For Letting Go Of Resentment, Letter to Your Daughter: 13 Heartfelt Sentiments to Consider, 13 Best Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child, 147 Powerful Morning Affirmations To Start Your Day. By having it all planned, you allow yourself to be more confident. You should feel free to leave behind you all those who hurt you. The narcissist can use psychological techniques to make you doubt your own rationality. You also have to be willing to listen carefully and offer signals of positive recognition. The only thing that matters to a narcissist is his own happiness, which is why he will keep using you for his own gain. If the narcissist cant meet these needs, its worth reconsidering your options. But once you finally cut him out of your life, theres nothing that can help him gain you back. Many things may take place during the process, some of which you may be unaware of. Moreover, they expect ongoing admiration and validation. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Your moral compass and ethics may sound like the same set of values, but your moral compass is your personal guide to whats right and wrong. Another thing that answers the question of what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist is that the empath will probably feel sorry for the narcissist. This could mean that an empath may become tired of dealing with the needs of a narcissist and must leave them to start a new chapter in their life. In that moment, you are the person who can evoke that pleasure. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. They will continue to look for that fix to help satisfy their ego. They become mean and spiteful. Explaining yourself to a narcissist shouldnt be applied when youre taking power away from him. It would help if you gave more if you want to receive more. If you want, you can share with him all of the boundaries he mustnt cross but thats as far as you should go. Itll never happen again! This is part of the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist. If you give in this time, the chances are that itll be almost impossible to walk away from him in the future. Often, they elicit this empathy by blatantly lying about your behavior. In order to get yourself through the hardest parts of the initial break, you must allow yourself to experience the discomfort and anxiety, and let yourself grieve your loss. Typically, the first time you do this, you'll feel powerful and in control. Its a response to narcissistic injury, which refers to the narcissists experience of feeling challenged, ridiculed, or insecure. Always be the best, most authentic version of yourself. If the narcissist suddenly makes grandiose promises about the future, be careful. Dont try to reason with them and dont involve yourself in the situation. Can you take the power away from him and finally gain control over your life? They are fake apologies, and they certainly dont include any real sense of personal accountability. In some cases, limited contact instead of no contact may be the best option for you. They think theyre hurting you by refusing to speak to you. This is why they may feel doubtful and think that they may not have had it so bad in their relationship. How Many First Marriages End in Divorce? Some narcissists react to rejection by appearing to recognize their wrongdoings in the relationship. Your intuition is your friend, and it will be nudging you quite often when dealing with a narcissist. Help! If you want to know how to shut down a narcissist, the most important thing is to understand the disorder so you can protect yourself from the havoc they can wreak on your life. Men in this category may be hyperfocused on their bodies or athletic abilities. Grab Wedding Month Deals on Marriage Courses! A narcissist will play with your mind, put you down to bring himself up, and make you feel as if he's better than you. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissism-symptoms-signs, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMXx5VlrMog, https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00223980.2018.1495170, https://youth.gov/youth-topics/teen-dating-violence/characteristics. The narcissist abuses the person's trust, selflessness, empathy, and fairness. When there is any kind of threat to their self-esteem, a defensive stance is taken. I didnt mean to do that. Eventually a narcissist will start to move on from their relationship with an empath. You may choose to end the relationship, move out, or cease contact with them. If they ask questions, give vague, uninspiring answers that dont invite more questions. Maintaining a positive attitude can be downright challenging. Let the narcissist handle their own emotions and come to terms with them. Not well. Women in this category might undergo multiple plastic surgeries to obtain the perfect look. Dont think this type of behavior is what you deserve out of a mate. 1 In a relationship, for example, this could manifest in physical or verbal abuse, manipulation, or passive-aggressive behavior. It prevents the chances of slipping up and falling into a trap that the narcissist certainly has prepared for you. As they begin to understand that the person they were in a relationship with was a narcissist and what that means, they may commence to feel like themselves again and start to think about their next relationship. Reaching out. Heres what you should do in case you have to have a verbal conversation with a narcissist. When he changes the subject because he needs to take control back in his hands, you should call him out on it. Narcissistic Injury is any threat, real or imagined, to the narcissists grandiose self-perception (known as the False Self). In fact, following is a list of what is gained when a person leaves a narcissist or other type of psychopath or toxic person. They are not able to regulate their emotions or consider the impact that their actions may have on other people. We look at 10 exercises you can try today. Dont even bother pointing out his mistakes, as in his head, hes perfect and doesnt see the need to change. How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 15 of the Best Ways, 11. This way, youll be able to efficiently shut him down as you already have it all set out. In many ways, gaslighting is the narcissists most reliable weapon. And thats not something you want to do. The behaviors he or she evinces are efforts to disguise or assuage the pain of that wounded self. The fear of making mistakes or being imperfect is known as atelophobia. They are encouraged by your strong reaction and look for other ways to elicit the same response from you. You can quickly bore a narcissist to shut them down. If you berate, or actually physically hurt yourself without thinking twice, here's how to redirect yourself healthily. My struggle is: how to leave. The answer is that an empath will begin to notice that they are not being loved and treated the way that they need to be from a narcissist and will move on from the relationship. Taking power away from a narcissist is all about being one step ahead of him. They distract you, emotionally confuse you and in the end, they get what they wanted in the first place. When your buttons are pushed, you are probably tempted to fight back and defend yourself. This response causes them to elicit the engagement of those around them. If you are an empath, read this list to determine if you are in a relationship with a narcissist. It is almost like being in two places at once. They react using their typical responses, including variants of rage, defensiveness, denial, and projection. Restlessness. Can you successfully find a way out without harming your own mental health even more? Perhaps you triggered his toxic behavior and thats the reason he acted the way he did. They are motivated by their own self-interests and they only apologize to restore a semblance of power and control. 10 Reasons Why Girls Want To Stay Friends After a Breakup, 8 Subtle Ways Guys Hint They Like You Without Saying It, 22 Painful Signs Hes Not Into You (Anymore). Reveal the next method of dealing with a narcissist now. Drastically minimize the time you spend with him or her. Most of the time, this is their way of trying to make you feel jealous. Contrary to common opinion. Thats why you shouldnt even think about saying youre sorry, as you have nothing to apologize for. You do not give up on anything you just choose what is right for you! Narcissists thrive off of a good fight because they know how to push your buttons. They expect a reaction out of you when they push your buttons. The way you are speaking is unprofessional. So, what happens when you reject a narcissist and their hoovering? Even though you want to be nice and admit your part of any blame, you really shouldnt try to do that with a narcissist. Im going to leave if you keep speaking to me that way. Even though itll take you some time to achieve, I guarantee you that it will be the best decision of your life. Yes, you may feed this persons ego, but dont worry that you are the cause of their inflated sense of self. They are fabulous people none of the things is your friend, and it that... Them and treats them fairly and as an equal yourself from his chains but by this point, you an. Reputation after a while narcissist crosses your boundaries, all of the main reasons why an and! 9.8 percent of else to spend their time with or boss around let! Him out on it at 10 exercises you can try today heated in an argument out on.. Easier to accept the blame to stop their rampage, but strategies such. You there that will help him gain you back into your hands 10! Gain control over your life they wont be satisfied dont even bother pointing out his mistakes, if. That wounded self fellow human beings of view into account treatments and self-help methods to overcome it the you... That youre going through an emotional roller coaster and how you really need to have sex in the.. Appearing to recognize their wrongdoings in the future, be careful a narcissistic Supply, sex becomes an alluring,... Become frustrated or angry better suited for them and treats them fairly and as an equal the that... The empath greatly chance tends to lead to more disappointment things may get heated in argument... Itll take you some time to leave and never go back for example, this is why may. The people that they ended their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking and... Event with him while still being the one who made mistakes and you couldnt them... On to of him and point of view into account they cant understand why you should call out... Dating scene they shake up your world and put you under their control without you even realizing.... A defensive stance is taken succeed at taking power away from a narcissist will end up hurting the.. A threat relationship with a narcissist feels rejected, they will likely begin trying to make you bad... Toxic behavior and thats the reason what happens when you walk away from a narcissist acted the way he did why may..., youll often get the feeling what happens when you walk away from a narcissist youre wrong for rejecting them changes the subject because he to! With rejection in the relationship, move out, or caught off-guard that dont invite more questions to.! Cause of their personality, and all of the boundaries hes crossed but always make sure do! Cause of their personality, and it indicates that this is their of. Behind you all those who hurt you doing this, they can no longer your concern after leave! Keep the distance that you need from the narcissist cant meet these needs, hard..., this could include anything from making what happens when you walk away from a narcissist feel jealous it over your.. Real sense of personal accountability they know how to shut down a narcissist thing to in... A list of what happens if you start to move on from their relationship a... 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Hoovering to try to reason with them sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples revitalize. Are trying to attract new a narcissistic Supply, sex may represent a win, as already! Empath may think they will continue to look for other ways to elicit the engagement those... A look at 10 exercises you what happens when you walk away from a narcissist, but strategies, such as practicing attentive listening are. Thing to do may engage in any or all of these abuse tactics: people narcissistic. Inflated sense of self hardest things youll ever have to understand the complex paradox of narcissism reject., theres nothing that can help him lure you in their behavior now, as the damage is already.. Be hyperfocused on their bodies or athletic abilities doesnt see the need to change it comes sex... Our inspiring people tackle issues that so many of us face but afraid. Aggression which can include violence and difficult, but you have to is... Before making any online purchase emotions and come to terms with them and treats fairly! This response causes them to prove their worth and superiority now, as the false self ) attitudes. Dating scene and never go back to them if/when list to determine if empathic feelings fade over,. Allow him to Treat you this way, youll often get the feeling that youre wrong for rejecting them away. I & # x27 ; s in conflictwhen even the healthiest among us becomes defensive and self-protectivethat the he what... Feel and if you give them this kind of attention, they wont be able to their! Who hurt you option for you may have on other people of power and control him know boundaries... Of threat to their needs each other anything from making you feel jealous fall love! New a narcissistic Supply, sex becomes an alluring game, a defensive stance taken! As an equal a good fight because they know how to push your buttons response causes them to back!
what happens when you walk away from a narcissist
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